NVRs

What is an NVR?

If you consider yourself “VERY religious,” then you probably don’t qualify. Everyone else is free to join the growing ranks of the happily “Not Very Religious.”

Why NVR?

Many people judge others by their religion. The numbers definitely bear this out. In case a very religious person inquires about your religion, and you don’t want to discuss it in depth with them, I’ve found that the best response is “I’m not very religious.”

The main reason you may want to have this phrase handy, when asked about your religion, is because it’s a polite way of saying, “I’m not that into God/Jesus/Whoever You Happen to Worship,” “I’d rather not talk about my religious beliefs,” or “Please get off my porch; this football game isn’t going to watch itself.”

The phrase is vague enough to allow your inquisitor to infer a wide range of religious possibilities, and just maybe, they’ll not judge you too harshly. Vaguer still is the plural phrase, “We’re not very religious,” when referring to your entire family.

What is the First Church of the Not Very Religious?

If you want to be able to respond positively to the follow-up question, “Do you go to church?” then you are hereby granted membership in the First Church of the Not Very Religious (1CNVR). No special ritual is required, though if that’s what you want/need, go nuts: burn incense, gather loved ones around, utter some pious-sounding sentiments, have a party, whatever you gotta do!

Now when they keep prying about your religious affiliation, you may have to use your improv skills to describe to them your understanding of the 1CNVR, or just repeat that you’re not very religious and steer the topic to something you really enjoy doing with your Sundays. They may end up being just a little jealous of you.

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